When I first read this post, I couldn't believe it. Spot on. A revelation.
http://pathpartners.com/is-it-a-midlife-crisis
I shared the list with her. She took it well actually. Although there are deeper causes for the underlying depression - her abusive dad. She is undeniably in crisis. I counted 17 of 20 on the list as just dead on. I read it 100 times.
Here's my modified list of symptoms that rang true for my wife.
1. She is depressed and withdrawn – she says she is unhappy and feels lost and empty inside
2. She is discontent and bored with her life and our marriage – she wants a new life which doesn’t include me
3. She is emotionally detached and doesn’t enjoy any of the activities we used to do together
4. She says that she loves me but she’s not “in love with me” – she has cut me off emotionally and physically
5. She says that she feels a lack of personal fulfillment
6. She says she is "going through something" and wants to "take a break” – she says she needs time and space to figure it out
8. She has lost weight, goes to the gym daily and has become obsessive about exercising
9. She pays more attention to her appearance
10. She had or wants a breast augmentation
12. She seeks attention from other men
13. She had or has thought about having an affair with a co-worker, personal trainer, old flame, guy she met in a bar, etc
15. She focuses on herself and is acting selfish
16. She is angry and irritable all the time, and becomes easily agitated over little things
17. She is sarcastic with one cut down after another
18. She spends her spare time on the computer/phone messaging girl friends and guys you don't know
19. She goes out drinking with younger, single friends/co-workers after work and stays out all hours of the night
20. She started living like she was single again – separate vacations, concerts, going out to clubs and bars – anything to avoid being at home in the evening